not what I meant by "lonely"
I guess somebody does read this blog, after all. I got a comment yesterday from a guy who accused me of being bored.
Ok, "accused" is too strong a word. Somehow he interpreted from what I've written that I am bored with my life. That's not the impression I meant to give. As a matter of fact, I don't know any mothers of toddlers who would claim that they are bored. This is probably the most rewarding job I've ever had, raising my son. But that doesn't mean that I don't long for adult people to talk to about things other than childrearing.
I don't know if it is just a symptom of my particular neighborhood, or of the city in general, but since my son was born we rarely get to spend time with other adults, with or without our kids. I used to have a friend who was so much like me it was incredible: our sons were born a day apart, our husbands are both architects, we are the same age and we were both originally from the midwest. Unfortunately, she moved back to Chicago last winter, and I haven't found anybody else in our circle of moms to hang out with. I see other moms and kids everyday at gym classes, in the park, at Music Together... but everybody splits after class to go grocery shopping or get their child home for a nap or whatever, and there's never anybody left to go out for coffee with. (Not that that's such a successful event even if it happens. We've tried more than once to have a conversation over kids who don't want to sit down and drink their juice, who are trying to give themselves a lobotomy with a coffee stirrer, who are attracting dirty looks from the retirees who haunt the local Starbucks...)
A few weeks ago while my husband was away on one of his (more and more frequent) business trips, my son inadvertantly invited himself into the apartment of a neighbor whose apartment door was open. They have two daughter several years older than my son, and they were having a potluck with some other couples with children of a similar age. My son just walked right in and started playing with their toys. When I sheepishly tried to retrieve him they invited me to join them and offered me a glass of wine. It was more fun than I'd had in weeks! The children entertained one another (and us) and I got to have an actual adult conversation with some new and interesting people. Too bad this kind of thing doesn't happen more often. But I'm not going to train my son to barge in on people just so I'll have someone to talk to! Once he gets a little older it will be easier to have people over to our place -- once he learns to share his toys, and will sit and eat at the table and doesn't get bi-polar with exhaustion by 9:00. I hope we have some friends left at that point.
Ok, "accused" is too strong a word. Somehow he interpreted from what I've written that I am bored with my life. That's not the impression I meant to give. As a matter of fact, I don't know any mothers of toddlers who would claim that they are bored. This is probably the most rewarding job I've ever had, raising my son. But that doesn't mean that I don't long for adult people to talk to about things other than childrearing.
I don't know if it is just a symptom of my particular neighborhood, or of the city in general, but since my son was born we rarely get to spend time with other adults, with or without our kids. I used to have a friend who was so much like me it was incredible: our sons were born a day apart, our husbands are both architects, we are the same age and we were both originally from the midwest. Unfortunately, she moved back to Chicago last winter, and I haven't found anybody else in our circle of moms to hang out with. I see other moms and kids everyday at gym classes, in the park, at Music Together... but everybody splits after class to go grocery shopping or get their child home for a nap or whatever, and there's never anybody left to go out for coffee with. (Not that that's such a successful event even if it happens. We've tried more than once to have a conversation over kids who don't want to sit down and drink their juice, who are trying to give themselves a lobotomy with a coffee stirrer, who are attracting dirty looks from the retirees who haunt the local Starbucks...)
A few weeks ago while my husband was away on one of his (more and more frequent) business trips, my son inadvertantly invited himself into the apartment of a neighbor whose apartment door was open. They have two daughter several years older than my son, and they were having a potluck with some other couples with children of a similar age. My son just walked right in and started playing with their toys. When I sheepishly tried to retrieve him they invited me to join them and offered me a glass of wine. It was more fun than I'd had in weeks! The children entertained one another (and us) and I got to have an actual adult conversation with some new and interesting people. Too bad this kind of thing doesn't happen more often. But I'm not going to train my son to barge in on people just so I'll have someone to talk to! Once he gets a little older it will be easier to have people over to our place -- once he learns to share his toys, and will sit and eat at the table and doesn't get bi-polar with exhaustion by 9:00. I hope we have some friends left at that point.
posted by jenn | 9:45 PM
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